Do You HAVE To Have It?

Recently, I moved for the first time in my life. It was an ordeal for me because I am almost 40 and had acquired quite a bit of "stuff." This article by Randy Gage was interesting for me. While packing my life into boxes, I thought I had to get rid of some of the things I treasured. You know, out with the old and in with the new. As it turned out, Mark talked me out of tossing away some of those things. After reading Randy's article I now know that I am worthy of keeping (and acquiring) all the "stuff" that makes me happy.   

How Much is Enough?

by Randy Gage

God I hate that question!  Because I believe that 99 percent of the time you here it, it’s uttered by someone programmed with a mind virus of lack.  But if approached the right way, the question can take you to an important lesson about living a life of happiness and meaning…  

Because the ideal place it can take you is learning how to celebrate money and material things instead of worshiping them.  How to own them, instead of them owning you.

I remember doing a seminar with Randy Schroeder a couple years ago and he related the story of his life a few years back.  He shared that he had a garage with a Mercedes, Ferrari, Lambo, and a few Porsches, but still wanted more.

So naturally I raised my hand and asked, “What’s your point?”

While it’s fun to have fun with the subject, being a guy who has always thought more is better, it’s not always so.  I don’t like to set limitations on myself, and I want to view the world through the biggest prosperity window I can.  But the important thing is to never lose sight of where the true joy comes from.

Limitations are bad.  Boundaries are good.

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out how many bays I need in the garage of my next dream home.  And came to understand that if I owned my 100 favorite rides, I would still get a tinge of desire when I saw number 101 roar by.   So then I have to think really about when is enough, enough.

If I have 100 cars parked downstairs, can I really appreciate and enjoy each one, or do I take some for granted?

Truth is I drive my newest Viper more now than my last one, and the new Challenger more than the one that’s four months older.   So do I trade them in for different models, downsize the fleet, or buy another 15?

It’s about finding the sweet spot where your possessions bring you more joy than work.  (If you haven’t seen it, watch my video on Materialism or Minimalism here.)

I just had an amazing week in Hawaii.  But would I have appreciated it as much if I didn’t grow up in the frozen tundra of Wisconsin?

For Christmas I brought two very different presents.  One was a $200,000 car for myself; one was a $200 bouncy house for a very special four-year-old girl that recently came into my life.   So which do you think brought me more joy?

But here’s the danger asking that question can bring you…

Falling into the either or category.  Because the fact is I bought both, and they both give me joy.  And the fact is, you too can support your church and ski Vail.  You can help the homeless and wear Armani.  You can adopt a stray kitten and spend $250,000 on a painting for your dining room.

But that means three things…

It means you accept that you are worthy.  That you view the world through a bigger window.  And don’t let things consume you, but rather understand what level they bring joy to your life.

So how you doing on all this?  Have you found the balance where it works best for you yet?  Any other thoughts you’d add?

-RG

Change Can Be Good - If You Let It by Gidget Giardino

Ever thought you'd just wish things were like they used to be? Here are some great tips for dealing with change. Change can be good. 

By Marsha Egan

Almost every day, I hear someone remark how fast the world is changing - and it's true. It's almost unrecognizable from our parents' days, and even from the world we grew up in.

We live in a world far more touched by a constant state of change than any generation which has gone before us. Global communication and sharing of ideas combined with ever-increasing technology has given us a world that moves incredibly fast. Add to that the increasing world population, increased global competition and the pressure we all have on profits, and we have a world with its foot stuck firmly on the gas pedal!

Mind you, it's almost certain that the current break-neck speed at which our world turns is the slowest rate of change we'll ever have; things can only speed up even further from here - pretty scary, isn't it?

Just to reinforce this, the compounding reality is that there's nothing any of us can do to slow the rate of change - whether we like it or not, the roller coaster is here to stay!

The more change we have to deal with, the greater is the potential for us to feel stressed out. People are, by their very nature, resistant to change. We have our routines and our idiosyncrasies, and we hate to be taken outside our 'comfort zones'. How many times have you heard a colleague say 'well, we've always done it that way', or refer to how something worked 'last time'? When we have to mix things up a little, people get uncomfortable, so it's understandable that this can create stress.

Even changes that improve people's lives can create stress. For example, when someone gets a promotion and has to move to a new city, they not only have to deal with all of the changes to their new responsibilities at work, with a new boss, new relationships and new knowledge; their family must also deal with the changes involved in moving to a new neighborhood -- new schools, new neighbors, new places to shop, new doctor, the list can be endless. While the overall result is a positive change, all these things almost certainly add pressure to a person's home and professional life.

Given the fact that we can't slow the rate of change down, what CAN we do?

The answer lies in our own ability to change from within - the way we handle or react to change. If you can't change what we don't like, there are only two things you can do. You can elect not to be part of the thing you don't like (which in this case simply isn't going to work!), or you change your attitude towards it.

Here are some ideas for how you might accomplish this:

- Find the benefits of the changes you are experiencing. Think of ways you can use those changes to make your life easier. Try to avoid fighting the change, and find ways to make it work for you. It's much easier to 'go with the flow'!

- Focus on learning to work with the change. The more you focus on 'getting a handle on it', the faster it'll be second-nature.

- Think things through. When confronted with change, look at it as if it's a chess game, when you need to think through the several moves in advance rather than just one. A lot of the time we create a stressful situation by making a judgement call without considering what the consequences will be.

- Keep open mind, and a positive attitude. Finding fault with a new idea or dismissing it is easy, but the better our attitude to it, the less of a chore it will be. As an added bonus, staying positive will have a positive effect on your career and relationships - no-one wants to be around a negative person!

- Recognize that change can be stressful. Accept that fact and give yourself permission to feel uncomfortable at the beginning.

- Helping those around you get used to the change will give you a better understanding of the change itself, will minimize the stressful side of it, as well as impacting well on your relationships.

"I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul." is a quote from the classic poem 'Invictus', although most people remember it more as a line from the film 'Casablanca'. Take ownership of your own attitude. You'll only feel stressed if you allow stress into your life. By controlling your attitude, and your emotional responses, you will give yourself the best chance of getting the most out of change, and minimizing your stres's levels.

Sure, change can hurt. But it is here to stay. The people and organizations who seek out the positives and embrace change will be the ones who see the most benefit from it. Will you be one of them?

About The Author Marsha Egan, CPCU, PCC is CEO of The Egan Group, Inc., a Reading, PA based professional coaching firm. She is a certified workplace productivity coach and professional speaker, specializing in leadership development

Get On Your Way

One of my favorite authors of all time, Jack Canfield, wrote this article.  His easy to read and understand way of writing make him one of the most successful coaches. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Get On Your Way by Jack Canfield

Starting toward your goals is up to you. No one can hold your hand and take you to your goal safely. No one can take every step with you and make sure you do not have any struggles. You must take responsibility for what you want and you must begin.

Beginning need not be scary. It is as simple as making a few decisions. Will you decide what you want for yourself? You do not have to decide how it will all come about; you only need to decide what it is you want for your life. How do you want to be living? You must also decide what your first step will be. Will it be signing up for more education or training? Will it be making a list of people to talk to? Will it be getting a new job, or even a second part-time job in the field you want to be in?

Come up with the first action you will take and take it! Just jump in and figure out each step to take next. Once you start, keep your eyes and ears open to the possibilities. Energy in motion stays in motion. Just keep taking steps. Learn as you go. Find out what you can do right now and do it. If you need to learn how to do the next thing before you can do it, then the next step is to learn it!

Be willing to ask questions and be rejected and feel your fears. Allow yourself to be human just like everyone else. Ask for help from people who can help you. Learn how others are doing it and practice what they do. The main thing is to begin.

When you begin, you set the cycle of cause and effect into play. You cannot possibly know all that will come about as you set off for your desired lifestyle. But as you take your steps, there are things happening behind the scenes, and opportunities will unfold before you when you are ready for them. Your horizon will shift into focus as you approach your goals and then change into another distant prize for you to keep marching toward. You cannot see all that can be yours from just one viewpoint.

Acknowledge your present state of happiness even if your life isn’t all that you hope it will be. Just be grateful now and keep our sights set on being grateful. Open yourself to accept new beliefs about yourself and what you can accomplish, and you will find yourself accomplishing them. Be grateful then, too. Because as you grow and develop yourself you will always be creating new goals to improve your life; it is important not to wait for that “perfect” life before you are grateful to be living.

Keep yourself inspired and motivated. Get a mentor or personal coach, a group to be accountable to, an audio program and books to keep your internal fire lit. Surround yourself with positive energy, especially from within, and make the changes you need to in your life.

Visualize your success every day. Pay attention to your habits. Decide every day to take more steps toward improvement. Make your life a wonderful adventure that you are fully engaged in!

Are You Happy?

The Head Games of Happiness
by Darren Hardy

What makes you happy… really?

That’s a serious question… maybe one of the most important questions of your life. But did you know most people can’t answer it correctly?

In his book Stumbling on Happiness, Harvard professor Dan Gilbert explains that most of us think we know what makes us happy, but typically we are wrong.

I have found there are three major traps in which you might be unknowingly making yourself unhappy.

The first unhappiness trap is postponing happiness. The “when I (fill in the blank), I will be happy” syndrome. The reality is that happiness isn’t something to be acquired in the future. You are either happy now or not; “then” never arrives. Living and striving for “then” results in a constant state of unhappiness. Now is the only time you have to be happy. If you can’t be happy now, you most certainly will not be happy later.
The second unhappiness trap is we spend our lives trying to make other people happy, which can make us very unhappy. Many times we are living a life we didn’t even choose ourselves. We might have simply, and unconsciously, started pursuing the idea of happiness programmed by our parents, peers, societal culture, or the examples given to us by Hollywood or commercialism. Whose idea of success are you living out?
Third unhappiness trap is contrast. For the most part happiness is really an illusion. In other words, you make up the idea of whether you are happy or not. And you really only know how to judge something by comparing it to something else. Typically this means comparing yourself to other people. This is dangerous business because there will always be reference points that will cause you to be unhappy.

The bottom line is this, happiness is not derived from the outside, it is only derived from within. Happiness is a state of mind. And you can continually choose to be happy.

Here is the best way I know to live in happiness—live in gratitude. When you focus on all you have and all that you are, right now, that is where happiness is born. Once it is born now you can nurture it further by discovering those other experiences that bring you increased joy, happiness and exhilaration.

http://www.darenhardy.success.com/

Key To Happiness by Gidget Giardino

Burned biscuits

When I was a kid, my Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my Mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone
noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my Mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite! When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my Mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits."

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burned biscuit never hurt anyone!"

Life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly
anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. But what
I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each others faults - and choosing
to celebrate each others differences - is one of the most important keys to creating
a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.
Learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker!

"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - keep it in your own."

Celebrating Differently by Gidget Giardino

I am celebrating Thanksgiving differently this year. And, man, am I excited about it!

One thing missing from my glorious life of owning my flower shop has been the joy of spending time with family. Traditional business can rob you blind. Because the days and weeks before a major holiday are full of deadlines and long hours, when the actual day arrives, I am so worn out I can’t really relax and enjoy it. As a matter of fact, my mind replays the holiday weeks events taking into account the amount paid out for supplies, payroll, added contractors, perishables, pending paperwork, etc. It’s like a broken record playing out of tune.

And, flower shops are not the only business that I am referring to. Restaurants, gift shops, specialty stores, and the like, all these owners experience a back draft of sorts. Sure, the money made may make you think you are doing great, BUT, are you really? Is it truly worth it?

There are lots of reasons traditional business is right for some people. But for me, after 25 plus years it was time to re-think. Realizing I needed a change made me look to Network Marketing for the income and lifestyle I was missing.

So, because I chose to take charge of my life, this year I am able to travel to North Carolina for a family reunion. A reunion that has taken place at my cousin’s house in High Point, for God knows how many years, that I was forced to miss year after year because my traditional business kept me tied to the boss’s seat.

This year I am celebrating Thanksgiving in a whole new light. One shared with my family, surrounded by joy and happiness, totally relaxed. I am thankful for XanGo bringing me into that light and shining so bright you can see it from anywhere.